check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
