Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
