super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
