She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize