So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just want nice things and good sex
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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