We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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