to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
