My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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