i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
