Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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