I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
