Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
