people are starting to question the shark bite story
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
