Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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