I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
