Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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