i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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