i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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