I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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