thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
