Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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