I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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