I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
