Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
