his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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