What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
