if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
