remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
