Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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