the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
