have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize