oh god the rape fog is back!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
