What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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