I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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