Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Welp...herpes.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize