dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The air was thick with penises
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
