Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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