The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
