my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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