Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
