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For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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