Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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