Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
