my mouth tastes like poor choices
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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