Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
