Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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