Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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