Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize