Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sorry about my life...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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