Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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