If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize