I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
