Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
