how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
