Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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