pop tarts are not kleenex
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
