i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
