I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize