Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
