Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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