hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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