And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
