But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
