That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
