your thong is hanging out like whoa
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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