5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize