Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
