Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
