More tranny stories later!
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
