i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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