Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This baby is an asshole
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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