yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
