Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
FUCK WHALES
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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