im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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